Fires a'Light

My name is Mbalenhle. This directly translates into "beautiful flower." You can catch me hooping at festivals and other events in Cape Town. <3
Posts tagged "friends"

Watching the moon at Love Project 2012

Photo: Mystic Mingler

Today, i went for a walk with this boy whom i had met in my accounting lecture a few weeks ago. As we walked down “lovers walk” (a fancy botanical type garden that we have on campus), we talked and i realized how people are not sincere anymore.

I mean, he is the sincerest person that i have ever met. He genuinely wanted to know about my life and looked at me while i was speaking with such interest. I felt as though i was absolutely endearing. At the end of the walk he gave me a hug and squeezed my shoulder tight. 

Well, this was very entertaining and all but i was absolutely dumbfounded as i made my way back to my ghastly residence room. How is it that someone who i am not even friends with, can take a more sincere interest in my life and well being then most of my friends? How can a mere acquaintance look at me like he is seeing the world anew on my face?

When was the last time you really acknowledged someones sincerity? When was the last time that you were SINCERELY interested in one of your friends or family members stories? When was the last time that you felt like you were really being listened to? 

When was the last time we were all just sincere in general.

Life is full of activities and i understand that we are not always interested in our friends issues because of the things that may be piling up in our own lives.


Let me tell you something..

The feelings that i felt from the genuine sincerity of that boy, are still going through me now, 8 hours later. This memory is etched into my mind.

Make someone feel the way that i did. Show interest and be sincere.

Serena and Blair’s friendship, has honestly faced more trials and tests than Adolph Hitler probably would have faced, if he survived long enough to be persecuted. The blond and brunette, both beautiful, both loving attention, both ultra fashionable = DISASTER and a whole lot of jealousy.

They have fought, laughed, slept with each others boyfriends, schemed and ultimately loved each other. Plus, they have done all of this while looking absolutely impeccable and wearing the most glamorous outfits that some of us have ever witnessed. Serena and Blair

Fashionable, beautiful, best friends? That combination is probably the kind that any remotely rational girl would want to emulate in their life.

Unfortunately in real life, some of our friendships would never last if ALL OF THAT DRAMA happened within the space of a high school career and a few years in  varsity. However, if you look beyond their hotness, you see that there actually is something from Blair and Serena’s relationship that you should try to emulate.


The amount of forgiveness that those two have spread towards each other is astounding. I know, you are probably all thinking, chill, it’s a series (everyone rolls their eyes) but if it was only a series, you all wouldn’t want to be hot like them? Or get the same amount of fit men as they do? Right?

So shut it.

Just kidding.

Really though, one characteristic that i would like to take from Gossip Girl, is the essence of forgiving, when deserved, because once we forgive we can build stronger relationships with each other.

Once we have stronger relationships with each other, then we may just become the hot, fashionable, yet insanely inseparable best friends.

The word “friends” used to be such a loose term for me until a few weeks ago, i finally realize after all these years the importance of the word. 

If a friendship is one-sided, then you are truly not friends. If your friend takes but never gives, you are not friends.

Guidelines for Spotting fake friends:

  1. Everything must be convenient for them and only them.
  2. You are a replacement for another friend.
  3. You are only friends when it suits them.
  4. They ask you for help and you drop EVERYTHING to make their life convenient but when you need help they are busy.
  5. You think about your fake friend in ways that you never think about your other good friends.
  6. They don’t think about your best interests.
  7. They bring up ideas but implement them with other people.
  8. They turn on you the moment things are not going their way

Don’t be someones substitute. 

Especially if you are a genuinely caring person.

Everyone deserves caring friends that will be with them no matter what and friends that value the same things as them.

Friends that will make you laugh when you’re sad, go boy hunting with you or even just spend time together in your room, sipping on cocoa. 

Friends don’t count the things that they do for each other.

Friends like these, essentially are a scarce commodity to find in the world.

But when you find them and you know your friendship is real. 

Treasure them.